Effortless Sleep is Possible
For several decades—until about seven years ago—I struggled terribly with sleep. Every night, I would lie awake for hours, tossing and turning, exhausted but unable to drift off. It felt like mental agony—an unrelenting restlessness that kept me trapped in wakefulness. Even when I did fall asleep, it was brief and unrefreshing, leaving me drained and lethargic throughout the day.
Because the mind remains overactive, unable to let go. It clings to thoughts, worries, and unresolved mental noise, preventing the body from fully relaxing. The more you try to force sleep, the more elusive it becomes.
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Then, around eight years ago, everything changed.
A Shift in Awareness: The Key to Effortless Sleep
My transformation began when I embarked on a journey into awareness. Through deepening my understanding of the mind, I realised that the primary reason for my insomnia was not my body—it was my overactive mind.
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Falling asleep effortlessly is not a distant dream. It is a natural state—one that is accessible to anyone who learns to quiet the mind and rest in stillness.
The simple yet powerful way to overcome this struggle is to practice present-moment awareness, not just at night but throughout the day. Sleep is not something we achieve by force—it is something that happens when we allow the mind to settle naturally.
Despite the persistent struggle, I was fundamentally against the idea of using medications or alcohol to induce sleep. Instead, I simply endured these sleepless nights for years, hoping for a natural solution that never seemed to come.
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But for many, this does not happen. Why?
• Shift from thinking to awareness. Instead of compulsively analysing the day or planning the future, bring attention to your breath, body, and the stillness of the present moment.
The Solution: Present Moment Awareness - Throughout the day.
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• Let go of control. Recognise that sleep is a natural process—you do not need to “do” anything for it to happen.
If you have had a moderately active day, received some natural daylight, eaten a light, early dinner, and reduced screen exposure an hour before bed, your body should naturally fall asleep within twenty minutes of lying down.
If you struggle with sleepless nights, the key is not in trying harder but in letting go mor
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Why Do People Struggle to Fall Asleep?
Today, I barely spend five minutes awake in bed before I fall into a blissful, restful sleep. Each morning, I wake up feeling refreshed, energised, and with a spring in my step. This profound and unexpected shift led me to mentor others on sleep, write a book on the subject, and share my insights through countless articles and posts.
• Observe your thoughts without engaging with them. Let them pass like clouds in the sky, without getting entangled in them.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
The mind, when left unchecked, becomes a control freak—it resists surrendering to sleep because it perceives it as a loss of control. But when you cultivate awareness and allow mental noise to subside, the body naturally shifts into deep, restorative sleep without resistance.
